This reflection was written on February 1, 2012 while I was immersed in a totally different culture, with a totally different language from mine. I lived in a province in Northern Mindanao, and my frustration to understand people and to be understood, was so deep. I visited people who were directly affected by strong typhoon. I asked their experiences, but I saw how hard it was for them to express using my language. They express their feelings using their own language, but it made me feel frustrated and depressed because I couldn't understand them. At the end of the day, what's important was that my presence made them feel a sense of comfort, support, and love. Their sincerity gave me a sense of hope, courage, and love. And that's all that mattered. Such is the magic of love that can transcend languages. I just saw this again today and thought I could share it with you.
It has always been important for me to communicate well. Now
that I am in this city where they are deeply rooted in their Cebuano language,
I feel that my “Tagalog pride” is being humiliated. This is a very humiliating
experience. Anyway, it is hard not to understand what they express, and it is
harder to express but they cannot understand you.
I am a fan of language. Language of the heart, as I often
call it, is very important when one expresses his/her own feelings. It is
through one’s own language that the real feeling is expressed. Otherwise, the
expression can only be considered as artificial.
Artificial expression is what you call it when one tries to
express his/her feelings using words that he/she is not used to. Using English
language to express my own feelings is hard enough. When I am in pain, in so
much joy, confusion, or trouble, I use my own language to express it.
When someone here tries to share their personal stories, we
would always be caught up in a situation when we will just both stop because
that person will begin to express his own language which I do not understand.
Meanwhile, when I also try to express myself, I tend to use my language so deep
that it becomes very hard for them to understand. Such is the game of language.
As such is the game of love. It is incomprehensible. It is incomparable.
Today, a friend posted a song entitled "Steady my Heart" by Kari Jobe. It is a song I've heard before, but its meaning sank in to me just when I heard it again today. At the bottom of this entry, you can hear that song. I can just totally relate to its message at the moment. The past few days have been terribly exciting, challenging, and full of hope.
The beginning of the year 2013 proved that this is going to be a thrilling year for me. I had a Canadian friend living in South Korea who came here to visit and have a tour of Metro Manila. I took her around the city, both in the slums and in the high-end areas. I even took her to places I haven't been to, and we both learned to appreciate Metro Manila even if no one would recommend for tourists to stay here. Most of the time, if you ask people which are the nicest places to go, they would tell you of so many places around the Philippines (outside Manila). Now we both learned that what makes a place special is not just what is in it, but WHO are in it. What makes a place special is the people that you meet and journey with while you are there. :)
Meanwhile, on that same week, a friend of mine passed away unexpectedly. He had a sudden heart attack and I was just shocked hearing that news. It gave a pinch of pain to know we can no longer meet, but I was happy that during his lifetime, we shared our stories together, and his journey is one of inspiration.
A tribute to a good friend.
I have been going home every weekend for the past three weeks, and it gave me a lot of special times with my family (New Year, My sister's birthday, and then my grandfather's birthday). Being home on Sundays also gave me a chance to get to know the new youth members at our church better. Being with the younger ones inspire me to learn more in life, so that I could share with them my experiences. Seeing how they journey, and hearing tons of questions from them excites me to share my experiences as a missionary and follower of Christ, and about life in general. These young people inspire me in so many ways they do not know, and I could never explain. Their lives are testimonies of God's faithfulness to His children, and God's answers to prayers. Their hunger for learning ignites my passion for teaching. Their thirst for wisdom challenges my own diligence in learning. I love everyone of them that adds to my church family. Our prayer for this year is for our concert on December that I will be coordinating. I pray that everything will turn out just fine, and that God will use the right people to carry out the tasks that needed to be done.
My family..that inspires me wherever I go.
My best friends... it used to be just the four of us as youth at our church. We are very blessed for the many who God led to join our journey
At work, everything is going fine. I thought that this quarter would be more relaxing, but that thought didn't stay long because I found out I needed to do a lot more stuff that aren't in my original plans. I will be traveling again in the next few weeks, and will be coordinating events. Our work plan for the entire year is also set, and that involves a lot of traveling, researching, training, documenting, and learning for me. :) I am up for every bit of challenge.
Personally, I still pray for my studies even if there aren't any immediate opportunities, and I guess my busy schedule will not yet permit. But I do pray that someday, God will lead me to the right opportunities and provide for my every need so that I would be able to study for a Master's degree that I can use for whatever He plans for me to do in the future.
Meanwhile, here is a prayer from my heart:
I whisper a prayer from deep inside my heart... For if You will, it MUST be. If not, then let me be: Obedient to Your plans, Diligent to my tasks Forgiving to everyone, And loving to even my enemies.
There are things that can't be spoken But the heart cries loud and clear Lord, if You hear what my heart is desiring You will answer to my plea.
