Sunday, January 24, 2021

WHY MY KIDS HAVE ONE NAME

 My name is Regina Lyn. I grew up being called "Gina" at home. Anyone who knew me when I was a child would call me Gina. In high school, someone started calling me "Reg". Since then, that name stuck with me, and I preferred to be called Reg until college onwards, leaving my baby nickname behind.

Sometimes during classes, I would be called Regina by my teachers. In grade school, my old teachers would even pronounce it in Spanish (Re.hi.na). Grade school classmates would refer to me as Regina. After college, someone preferred to call me "Reggie," and that name stuck with a few people who first heard me being called as such.

One time, my sister-in-law in the US sent money through Western Union using Regina as my first name. She forgot to include my second name "Lyn" and I wasn't able to claim that money because of the second name that was in my ID, but was forgotten by the sender. She had to change the name in her recipient profile before I could actually claim it. That was in 2015, 2 years before I gave birth to my firstborn.

Since then, I promised that when I have my own children, I will not give them a hard time with their names. I will only give them one name. 

So today, I have Shalom (peace), Agatha (noble), and Alexis (defender). Each name carefully selected and prayed for, with the prayer that my children will live up to the meaning of their names.



MY LIFE-GIVING JOURNEY: AGATHA

When my firstborn was seven months old, I found out I was pregnant again (after finally deciding to start using contraceptive pills that can be used when breastfeeding). I bought a pack of pills, and the instruction says to make sure I wasn't pregnant, so I got a PT kit. Turns out, I was positive

MY LIFE-GIVING JOURNEY: ALEXIS

MY LIFE-GIVING JOURNEY: SHALOM

May 15, 2017, at 01:46 PM, our little boy, Shalom Mondez Sumatra came out of my womb and into this world. We are blessed with a healthy baby boy weighing 3400 grams. The contractions started around 3AM, I went to the hospital around 9:30, and he came out in the afternoon after the painful contractions and a few pushes. Everything went well and baby was good in breastfeeding.

Even before we got married, my husband and I thought of the name Shalom for our future child (whether boy or girl). So when we got pregnant, it was a given what we were going to name him. My 2-year old nephew was the first to find out :)

Shalom, in Hebrew, means peace.

My pregnancy with him was generally "peaceful". I was surprised that I didn't have the common symptoms during the first trimester. I never had morning sickness or vomiting. I lost my appetite for a while, and only ever craved for fresh coconut (juice and meat), which my husband made sure to buy for me every single day when he was around. 

Because he was still assigned in Tacloban, there were more times that I was on my own, and I am thankful that I did not have any hard times being alone. I felt exhausted in the afternoon after working all day, and that made me sleep early (around 8 pm). I made sure I ate only fruits and vegetables, and occasionally have some meat (but I craved for it more). I did pregnancy yoga from the first trimester until the last. It attribute me fast labor and delivery to the yoga routines I did almost everyday.

During the entire pregnancy, I still traveled a lot for work. I finished my Peace Leadership Programme in Siem Reap, Cambodia during my first month. I traveled to Davao del Norte for work when I was three months pregnant. 

At 7 months pregnant, my father-in-law succumbed to his sickness and died, not being able to meet his grandson. I traveled with my sister to Davao for his funeral, and my husband had to go back to Tacloban right after.

Few days after I gave birth to Shalom, the Marawi siege occurred. My husband went there for relief work and saw the painful situation of  thousands of people affected, even newborns like our own son. We felt really blessed that we had comfort and security to welcome our firstborn. 

A month later, my husband decided to work in Palawan. We soon visited him there for a month with my parents. We were able to bring Shalom (and my parents) to a tour in Coron island and in the Calauit Safari where he was able to come close to giraffes and zebras.

Shalom was 7 months old when my brother visited from the US. We had a family reunion with three kids in the family: Rosh, Elias, and Shalom.



MY LIFE-GIVING JOURNEY (BACKGROUND)

 If you knew me back in 2007, then you probably know that I only have one ovary. It was one of the most challenging times of my life, being confined in a hospital for the first time, to have a surgery to remove a growing ovarian cyst. Little did I know, during my surgery, the doctors decided to cut my fallopian tube and remove my left ovary, since the cyst they removed was already enclosing the ovary. 

Since then, at the age of 17, I have already been asked multiple times if I will still be able to have children. Since then, I have started fervently praying to God to give me my own children, even before I started praying for a lifetime partner.

9 years later, I married the man that God rewarded me with, and soon after, we were blessed with a baby! Ten years after my life-changing ovarian cyst removal, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy through Normal Spontaneous Delivery. He was the answer to my decade-long prayer, and proof that God is faithful indeed.

One year and four months later, our baby girl came out and proved to be our joy and gift from above. While we were still contemplating whether having two kids is enough, we found out we were having another baby. The global pandemic, that is Covid 19, has changed many things around the world, and through the midst of it, I gave birth to our third child, another baby girl.

Throughout my third pregnancy, my husband and I decided he was going to have vasectomy. He agreed because for him, it is the most responsible thing any family man can do for his family. 

We know that in the Philippine society year 2021, vasectomy is still largely not accepted by men of any demographics. There is a notion that vasectomy lessens their "manhood". 

I am extremely blessed that my husband does not confine with the notions of society, but prioritizes only what is best for me and our children. Having three kids was enough for us, knowing the responsibility that goes with raising them, disciplining, and educating them. 

Natural family planning methods do not work for us, as proven by the birth of our two kids who are products of "calendar" and "withdrawal" methods. Pills have extreme side effects on me, particularly weight gain and anxiety. I never considered trying out other contraceptive methods which all require "women" to do the sacrifice. Therefore, I had several "talks" with my husband about vasectomy, and he did not give me a hard time to convince him at all.

Tomorrow, he will "go under the knife" (if that applies to him). I will be there with him and support him and show him how truly proud and grateful I am for having him as my partner in life.



Monday, August 26, 2019

3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE




Three years ago, we walked down the aisle and said "I do" to a lifetime of adventure together. We carefully planned, prepared for, and saved for our wedding where family and loved ones witnessed and joined the celebration. We knew our first year of marriage wasn't going to be normal, because at the time, he was assigned in Leyte and I was in Manila. We knew we were going to have a long-distance relationship. I only have one ovary, and we thought that we might have a hard time getting pregnant.

A month after our wedding, I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant! It was a delightful surprise that we were immediately blessed with a baby. My first trimester was not much difficult, no morning sickness, no throwing up. But I have very little energy and my hormones were unexplainable. While pregnant, I tend to get annoyed with little things and disappointed with almost anything that I can't explain. My pregnancy was relatively normal, but being in a long-distance setting with my husband was challenging.

A few months later, we found out that my father-in-law was sick. We had to deal with all the emotional and financial struggles during that time. Anticipating the birth of our baby, and thinking about how to help with my father-in-law's situation. I was seven months pregnant when my husband decided to visit his father in Mindanao. He took the 48-hour bus ride from Tacloban City to Davao City, so he could see his father again. The last time he saw him was during our wedding. While only 2 hours away from home, my husband received a call that his father passed away.  He was only two more hours away.

Two months later, I gave birth to our firstborn son, Shalom (meaning Peace). I had a relatively quick labor and normal delivery. We had a healthy baby and the joy of welcoming our own child was overwhelming. The first  night at our house when we brought him home, I remember feeling an ounce of fear. I stared at my son latched onto my breast, thinking, "this life is completely dependent on me." 9 months of being a married woman, and now I am a mother. We welcomed parenthood along with all the joys, and challenges. My body has gone through all the changes that come with pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. This is accompanied by the fact that a few months later, I had to go back to work in Manila while I leave my son with my parents in Laguna (because it is harder to raise children, and hardest to find a trustworthy babysitter in Manila).

When Shalom was barely 8 months old, we found out that I was pregnant - again! It was an unexpected surprise that we welcomed with joy, anticipation, and some clouds of worry from time to time. We were dellighted to know that we have another blessing coming, but we were also anxious if we were actually ready to raise 2 children at a time! Were we ready with all the responsibilities that come along with it?

My second pregnancy was like the first, fairly easy, no morning sickness, no picky eating, no stress. Although this time I was more sensitive and emotional. We had extreme joy when we found out that we were having a daughter this time. It means me having to shop for baby girl clothes (that aren't pink!) I still used most of Shalom's clothes on his baby sister, but I like having a new set of clothes for the new baby too.

On our second anniversary, I was 37 weeks pregnant, belly full and ready to pop. We spent our time just nearby our house, had lunch and a relaxing time at the spa. Walking like a duck, and catching my breath, we had a date full of excitement for the coming baby. We even waited for her to come out that day! But, she chose to come out 11 days later, on September 8, 2018.

We named our daughter Agatha, meaning, noble woman. Seeing her flooded my heart with too much joy and excitement, and love. I went through the same journey of breastfeeding her, savoring every single moment I held her in my arms and she sucked on a part of me that nourished her and sustained her life.

When Agatha was 2 months old, we received a call that my mother-in-law was brought to the hospital. A few minutes later, there was another call to tell us that she passed away. Just like that. We were still celebrating our new baby, and planning on inviting my mother-in-law to spend Christmas with us so she could see her new granddaughter. In the end, we had to fly our children to Davao so we could all be at the funeral.

Flying a 2-month old and a toddler wasn't very easy, and the hardest part was that we had to commute by bus in some parts of the trip. I still vividly remember the night we flew back to Manila, taking the bus ride to the province, during my children's bedtime hour, and they were both screaming in a bus full of people (even the aisle was full of standing passengers). Grieving, at the same time, having to wake to the reality that two people are completely dependent on us. In a crowded bus with two screaming children that are both my own, I remember just sitting there, staring blankly outside the window, praying that they would both stop crying. They were both tired, just needed to be rocked, and maybe lie down in a flat surface. My husband and I were both tired, just needed to rest, and also lay flat on our backs.

When my daughter was 4 months old, I had to go back to work in Manila. I spend 4 days working, and 3 days at home with my children. My husband has longer working hours and would usually be traveling in different areas, sometimes even on weekends. Every day, we juggle making decisions at work, our finances, our future plans for our careers, our children, and our marriage.

Soon my daughter will be turning 1 and we will officially have no more baby. We are now dealing with two toddlers, each with a unique personality, needs, and abilities.

Before we got married, we knew we're in for quite an adventure. We didn't know what was in store for us then. 3 years into our marriage, and I feel like we've been through and conquered more than what feels like the strongest typhoon in world history.

Our love story began in the aftermath of the world's strongest recorded typhoon in 2013 (Yolanda). Today, our marriage has been tested through many difficult challenges -of two full cycles of facing life, and death, and there were many times that we felt like giving up. But we were only strengthened and sustained by the love of the Creator and Author of our love story.

We still have a lifetime ahead of us. Many more challenges, many more celebrations. Everyday, we will still deal with our marriage, our parenting, our children, our finances, our careers, our ministry. But in each passing day, I am thankful that I married this person and every single chapter of our story is worth all the joy and sorrow... "until Christ calls us home".










Monday, July 8, 2019

THE JOLLIBEE SPELL AND HOW I (TRY TO) RESIST IT

Growing up, I see lots and lots of kids enticed with Jollibee.  Kids will see Jollibee and they'll go crazy. Parents get the notion that they have to bring their kids to Jollibee and feed them there to make them happy. My son, Shalom, is no exception. His cousin has a little Jollibee stuffed toy that they love playing with. This is why he is familiar with that big smiling bee. Whenever we're on a road trip and we pass by any Jollibee store, he would eagerly scream "Jollibee! Jollibee!"

For most parents, when kids scream Jollibee, they interpret it as the child wanting to eat there. But really, all they want is the image of that happy smiling bee. Because most parents fall into the trap of the Jollibee marketing strategy, they would usually bring their children to Jollibee as a treat. This experience creates positive memories into the child's brain, which makes them love Jollibee even more, because the equation becomes "Jollibee = family time".

Obviously, Jollibee isn't the healthiest place to bring our children to eat. I would rather bring my kids in a restaurant with home-cooked meals rather than a fastfood whenever we go out to spend some family time. But because Jollibee is so irresistibly cute and they're literally everywhere in the country, children would always be attracted to Jollibee.

The other day, we went to a mall and we were looking for a place to eat. My husband and I are not fans of fastfood restaurants and we didn't want our children to grow up loving their unhealthy meals. We happened to pass by Jollibee, and guess what? My son automatically stopped right in front of their entrance where the big Jollibee statue stands welcoming each customer. We let him play with Jollibee for a while, he shook the hand, tapped the belly, touched the body and smiled at his big smiling face. And then, we told him we have to go on. When it was time to go, he didn't resist. I guess it's because all he needed was a litte time to play and then he's done. I guess that's what most  children just need. A little time to play, without necessarily eating there. Well of course, you can also eat at Jollibee. I'm not saying it is wrong. But when children scream Jollibee, it doesn't mean you have to always go inside the store and order something. They may just need a little high five.

So what happened on our trip was that we went to the restaurant right across Jollibee where we ordered some pasta and pizza. While eating, Shalom just kept looking at Jollibee and saying Jollibee while enjoying food from across the hall. Not bad, hey? We call it compromise. :)



Shalom saw Jollibee on a mall and can't help but to play with this giant happy bee :)