3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE

Three years ago, we walked down the aisle and said "I do" to a lifetime of adventure together. We carefully planned, prepared for, and saved for our wedding where family and loved ones witnessed and joined the celebration. We knew our first year of marriage wasn't going to be normal, because at the time, he was assigned in Leyte and I was in Manila. We knew we were going to have a long-distance relationship. I only have one ovary, and we thought that we might have a hard time getting pregnant.

A month after our wedding, I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant! It was a delightful surprise that we were immediately blessed with a baby. My first trimester was not much difficult, no morning sickness, no throwing up. But I have very little energy and my hormones were unexplainable. While pregnant, I tend to get annoyed with little things and disappointed with almost anything that I can't explain. My pregnancy was relatively normal, but being in a long-distance setting with my husband was challenging.

A few months later, we found out that my father-in-law was sick. We had to deal with all the emotional and financial struggles during that time. Anticipating the birth of our baby, and thinking about how to help with my father-in-law's situation. I was seven months pregnant when my husband decided to visit his father in Mindanao. He took the 48-hour bus ride from Tacloban City to Davao City, so he could see his father again. The last time he saw him was during our wedding. While only 2 hours away from home, my husband received a call that his father passed away.  He was only two more hours away.

Two months later, I gave birth to our firstborn son, Shalom (meaning Peace). I had a relatively quick labor and normal delivery. We had a healthy baby and the joy of welcoming our own child was overwhelming. The first  night at our house when we brought him home, I remember feeling an ounce of fear. I stared at my son latched onto my breast, thinking, "this life is completely dependent on me." 9 months of being a married woman, and now I am a mother. We welcomed parenthood along with all the joys, and challenges. My body has gone through all the changes that come with pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. This is accompanied by the fact that a few months later, I had to go back to work in Manila while I leave my son with my parents in Laguna (because it is harder to raise children, and hardest to find a trustworthy babysitter in Manila).

When Shalom was barely 8 months old, we found out that I was pregnant - again! It was an unexpected surprise that we welcomed with joy, anticipation, and some clouds of worry from time to time. We were dellighted to know that we have another blessing coming, but we were also anxious if we were actually ready to raise 2 children at a time! Were we ready with all the responsibilities that come along with it?

My second pregnancy was like the first, fairly easy, no morning sickness, no picky eating, no stress. Although this time I was more sensitive and emotional. We had extreme joy when we found out that we were having a daughter this time. It means me having to shop for baby girl clothes (that aren't pink!) I still used most of Shalom's clothes on his baby sister, but I like having a new set of clothes for the new baby too.

On our second anniversary, I was 37 weeks pregnant, belly full and ready to pop. We spent our time just nearby our house, had lunch and a relaxing time at the spa. Walking like a duck, and catching my breath, we had a date full of excitement for the coming baby. We even waited for her to come out that day! But, she chose to come out 11 days later, on September 8, 2018.

We named our daughter Agatha, meaning, noble woman. Seeing her flooded my heart with too much joy and excitement, and love. I went through the same journey of breastfeeding her, savoring every single moment I held her in my arms and she sucked on a part of me that nourished her and sustained her life.

When Agatha was 2 months old, we received a call that my mother-in-law was brought to the hospital. A few minutes later, there was another call to tell us that she passed away. Just like that. We were still celebrating our new baby, and planning on inviting my mother-in-law to spend Christmas with us so she could see her new granddaughter. In the end, we had to fly our children to Davao so we could all be at the funeral.

Flying a 2-month old and a toddler wasn't very easy, and the hardest part was that we had to commute by bus in some parts of the trip. I still vividly remember the night we flew back to Manila, taking the bus ride to the province, during my children's bedtime hour, and they were both screaming in a bus full of people (even the aisle was full of standing passengers). Grieving, at the same time, having to wake to the reality that two people are completely dependent on us. In a crowded bus with two screaming children that are both my own, I remember just sitting there, staring blankly outside the window, praying that they would both stop crying. They were both tired, just needed to be rocked, and maybe lie down in a flat surface. My husband and I were both tired, just needed to rest, and also lay flat on our backs.

When my daughter was 4 months old, I had to go back to work in Manila. I spend 4 days working, and 3 days at home with my children. My husband has longer working hours and would usually be traveling in different areas, sometimes even on weekends. Every day, we juggle making decisions at work, our finances, our future plans for our careers, our children, and our marriage.

Soon my daughter will be turning 1 and we will officially have no more baby. We are now dealing with two toddlers, each with a unique personality, needs, and abilities.

Before we got married, we knew we're in for quite an adventure. We didn't know what was in store for us then. 3 years into our marriage, and I feel like we've been through and conquered more than what feels like the strongest typhoon in world history.

Our love story began in the aftermath of the world's strongest recorded typhoon in 2013 (Yolanda). Today, our marriage has been tested through many difficult challenges -of two full cycles of facing life, and death, and there were many times that we felt like giving up. But we were only strengthened and sustained by the love of the Creator and Author of our love story.

We still have a lifetime ahead of us. Many more challenges, many more celebrations. Everyday, we will still deal with our marriage, our parenting, our children, our finances, our careers, our ministry. But in each passing day, I am thankful that I married this person and every single chapter of our story is worth all the joy and sorrow... "until Christ calls us home".

THE JOLLIBEE SPELL AND HOW I (TRY TO) RESIST IT

Growing up, I see lots and lots of kids enticed with Jollibee.  Kids will see Jollibee and they'll go crazy. Parents get the notion that they have to bring their kids to Jollibee and feed them there to make them happy. My son, Shalom, is no exception. His cousin has a little Jollibee stuffed toy that they love playing with. This is why he is familiar with that big smiling bee. Whenever we're on a road trip and we pass by any Jollibee store, he would eagerly scream "Jollibee! Jollibee!"

For most parents, when kids scream Jollibee, they interpret it as the child wanting to eat there. But really, all they want is the image of that happy smiling bee. Because most parents fall into the trap of the Jollibee marketing strategy, they would usually bring their children to Jollibee as a treat. This experience creates positive memories into the child's brain, which makes them love Jollibee even more, because the equation becomes "Jollibee = family time".

Obviously, Jollibee isn't the healthiest place to bring our children to eat. I would rather bring my kids in a restaurant with home-cooked meals rather than a fastfood whenever we go out to spend some family time. But because Jollibee is so irresistibly cute and they're literally everywhere in the country, children would always be attracted to Jollibee.

The other day, we went to a mall and we were looking for a place to eat. My husband and I are not fans of fastfood restaurants and we didn't want our children to grow up loving their unhealthy meals. We happened to pass by Jollibee, and guess what? My son automatically stopped right in front of their entrance where the big Jollibee statue stands welcoming each customer. We let him play with Jollibee for a while, he shook the hand, tapped the belly, touched the body and smiled at his big smiling face. And then, we told him we have to go on. When it was time to go, he didn't resist. I guess it's because all he needed was a litte time to play and then he's done. I guess that's what most  children just need. A little time to play, without necessarily eating there. Well of course, you can also eat at Jollibee. I'm not saying it is wrong. But when children scream Jollibee, it doesn't mean you have to always go inside the store and order something. They may just need a little high five.

So what happened on our trip was that we went to the restaurant right across Jollibee where we ordered some pasta and pizza. While eating, Shalom just kept looking at Jollibee and saying Jollibee while enjoying food from across the hall. Not bad, hey? We call it compromise. :)

Shalom saw Jollibee on a mall and can't help but to play with this giant happy bee :)

DOING THE WRITE THING AS A MOM

It's 2019! I opened my blog again and it has been more than 2 years since I last wrote something here! I have been wanting to write forever, but many things keep me from doing so. Today, I opened my laptop and decided that I will no longer make excuses.

So, my last post was about my (first) pregnancy and waiting for baby Boy to arrive! Lo, and behold, he came out on May 15, 2017 after 11 hours of labor, and we called him Shalom. I breastfed him until I ran out of milk shortly before he turned 1 year old. He is now busy running around, talking, commanding, and copying everything we say or do. But let me fill you in on more details...

When Shalom was 8 months old, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant... again (which is why I ran out of breastmilk 5 months into my 2nd pregnancy)! We were a little bit surprised, but also delighted that we have yet another blessing. Our little baby boy was already a "kuya" (older brother) too soon, and it gave me mixed feelings of excitement and anxiety. I went through almost the same pregnancy chronicles, although this time, I found it a little bit more difficult, given that I have gained weight since the first baby, so being pregnant and heavier is a lot more work (and weight) for my spine and bones. My lower back and legs suffered the consequences. Until today I will still feel sciatic pain from time to time.

On September 8, 2019, after 19 hours of labor, hunger, and pain, our little girl finally arrived, much to the delight of our family. We named her Agatha. She was borne tongue-tied, which is why on her first few days, I found it so hard to breastfeed her. She just couldn't keep her mouth sucked into my nipples because her tongue couldn't hold it long enough, I guess. After doing some research and asking moms of other tongue-tied children, I set an appointment with her doctor so she could have her tongue-tie release. Much to my surprise, the day before the appointment, she was rigorously crying and fighting with my nipple (which she does everytime she feeds) and suddenly there was a little amount of blood coming out of her mouth. I also saw a short thread-like thing sticking out from her tongue, and then for the first time, she licked her lips and her tongue came out. I realized that her tongue-tie is already gone! It was her first miracle and I will never forget that moment, everytime I see her stick her tongue out when she makes silly faces. After that, I didn't go to the doctor anymore.

Today, Agatha is 10 months old and Shalom is in his "terrible 2s". Shalom is starting to show his will, commanding things he wants to get done, and resisting if he doesn't want to do what he is being told. He is generally a good listener, sweet to his little sister, and can play by himself most times. He loves singing and playing musical instruments. He would usually turn any stick or long object into a drum stick, and then toy buckets, the floor, chairs, table, plates, or his sister's back becomes a drum. His recent favorite songs include "How Great Thou Art," "Softly and Tenderly," and "Mighty to Save." He has always been a "reserved" baby, and it is still very evident in his personality now that he is older. He is very very shy, especially among strangers. He will not smile or talk to a new person, but he will get the hand and put it on his forehead to "bless" to an adut when he is told. He prefers being left on his own instead of having adults gather around his cuteness. He goofs around only with family and familiar people. He loves music and sings a lot.

Agatha, on the other hand, has already discovered that it is more fun on the floor than being left in her crib. Therefore, she rejects the crib and would cry her lungs out if you leave her there for a few minutes if you needed to sweep and mop the floor first. Since she was a baby, she has been "sociable" and freely gives her smile away to people, even to random strangers (Shalom has never smiled at strangers). She and her brother are so sweet to each other, they probably wouldn't be able to sleep at night without seeing the other. At this point, she is so cute and cuddly and sweet, like most adorable 10-month olds. But she is already showing her strong personality, which she probably got from her mother (and I love it!)

Being a mom (for 2 years now), while still having a full-time job is enough to keep me busy. But a lot of times I feel like I needed to do something that I always loved doing - WRITING. From now on, I will try my best to start writing again. I will write the things I feel, the things I dream of, and the things I see - watching my two adorable children grow. In writing, I hope to keep all the memories of this stage in my life. All the joys and challenges it takes to have two toddlers. All the fulfilment and gratitude of being able to still have a career and do what I have always done, while my kids are being well taken care of by my parents, and the journey of raising our kids well while nurturing my marriage. I will try to write at least once or twice a month. Or maybe more if I have the time. But writing will be my "me" time. My mental therapy as I juggle my daily crazies. And hopefully, in writing, I can also inspire others. In any way possible.

I am back on the road! The radical journey continues!