I just can't resist you.
I loved you then, and I never thought I still love you now.
That childhood feeling of longing to be with you after school, every single day...
I haven't been with you for a long time and I thought it was all over, until...
You're back in my arms!
I love you until now.
I love the feeling that I can go around with you,
and proudly show off to people that we're together (even if you're not mine).
I couldn't sleep at night thinking where we would go together next.
I wake up every morning anticipating the time of day that we will be together again.
I love you.
I love going out with my friends and know that I have you.
I love the idea that you will never fail me.
I love that you can carry me. <3
I love that we can go through different challenges together.
When the road is going up, you bear the pain with me.
When we travel downhill, you rejoice with my excitement.
In rough trials, I can hold on to you tightly, and be assured that we can safely go through.
I have to admit, we're perfect for each other!
You don't care how I look, you don't care what my mood is.
You accept me at my best, and you still carry me even at my worst.
You don't care if I'm fat, but you encourage me to be fit.
I just love you, and I know that I can go almost anywhere...
with you.
I know you won't be able to read this.
I know you don't feel.
Even if you don't talk, even if you don't love me
I will always love you and long for you, no matter where I go
Even if you don't do anything, you excite me!
I love you, my bicycle! (even if you're not mine)
TO: MY Brother's bike. <3
Oh how I love biking! It brings me anywhere!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
FROM INNOCENCE TO LEARNING
So, I already told you about the story of this innocent who fell in love with the fool. Let me tell you, it was a big learning curve for this innocent. So, the innocent who cried is now moving on, and found out she could actually grow; and that the heartbreak was a blessing after all.
This innocent is now learning, growing to be someone... to be a leader... called by God.
She is in a journey.. to the road unknown, the destination unknown, the terrain unknown. She is just moving on... going where her Guide leads her, doing what her Master tells her. She will hike, fly, can't swim but will try to... she is in a journey, and in this journey, you are part of it. YOU! Yes, because in her journey, she needs you! She needs people who will pray for her, walk with her, laugh, cry, and eat with her.
Join this innocent as God unfolds before her the great mission she has in life. Pray for her as she goes to places she has never been to yet; meet people she will learn to love, and maybe even hurt her still; experience culture; witness majestic views! All for the glory of God! The journey to HIM! :) Join her as she learns in this course called life, in the university of the universe!
This innocent is now learning, growing to be someone... to be a leader... called by God.
She is in a journey.. to the road unknown, the destination unknown, the terrain unknown. She is just moving on... going where her Guide leads her, doing what her Master tells her. She will hike, fly, can't swim but will try to... she is in a journey, and in this journey, you are part of it. YOU! Yes, because in her journey, she needs you! She needs people who will pray for her, walk with her, laugh, cry, and eat with her.
Join this innocent as God unfolds before her the great mission she has in life. Pray for her as she goes to places she has never been to yet; meet people she will learn to love, and maybe even hurt her still; experience culture; witness majestic views! All for the glory of God! The journey to HIM! :) Join her as she learns in this course called life, in the university of the universe!
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| Running the race towards seeing the glory of my Creator. JPP Farm, Manolo Fortich, Bukidnon (Mindanao), Philippines Photo courtesy of: Byron Pantoja |
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
THE FOOL AND THE INNOCENT
The innocent is a young, sweet girl, excited to see what the world has to offer. The fool is much older, seven years older than the innocent.He has more experiences, and yes, he is still a fool.
They met at a certain place, and the fool sees the innocent. She gives her nice, sweet smile, and the fool fell in love with her. The fool offered friendship and the innocent accepted. The fool goes on to make innocent happy. The innocent accepts all the fool can give her. The fool becomes too kind to the innocent and then tells her he likes her. The innocent felt flattered, because the fool seemed like a knight-in-shining armor. The fool then meets the innocent's family, and she introduced him as a friend. Later, the fool thought that they were good, then started making up with the innocent. The fool offered love, a different kind of love to the innocent. The innocent, so naive accepted that kind of love. They went on for long..maybe a year or so. The fool and the innocent were happy. The fool does something wrong, the innocent forgives him. The innocent goes to far away, the fool promised he will wait for her.
Then one day, the fool made a foolish decision. The innocent cried and so as the fool. But the innocent has to go farther because she is destined to grow. The innocent goes to many places, and learns so many things. Her eyes were opened wider, but her heart remains loving the fool.
The fool, from time to time, would remind the innocent that he loves her. The innocent, with disbelief, would just keep quiet. The love of the innocent, however, is unconditional. The innocent is willing to love the fool, even though she knows that she is no longer innocent, because she has grown. Although she is aware that the fool and the innocent is impossible, she still hoped that the fool would someday be "the wise". She kept on praying.
The fool one day told the innocent that he misses her. The innocent believed. They agreed to meet. The fool, in his extraordinary foolishness, forgot. The innocent cried.
Then the innocent goes to a far place again..to learn, and to grow even more. Remember, she is no longer as innocent as she used to be! But the fool, remains a fool.
When innocent returned, she found out that the fool has already offered love to a bitch. So the innocent tried to talk to the fool. The fool cannot be reached. The innocent, in bravery, talked to the bitch. And then the fool started to talk to her again. The innocent wanted a face to face closure. The fool is afraid. The innocent, in disbelief, got mad. Later, the innocent found out that the bitch talked bitch about her. And so she realized, that the fool is not just a fool - he is a dick! And the dick, in the absence of the innocent, looked for a bitch who is willing to accept the dick as he is.
The innocent cannot believe it. She keeps on crying. It was hard for her to believe that she actually loved the fool, who loved nothing else but his dick. The innocent had a hard time. But she knows she is moving on. Deep inside her heart, the innocent is happy. She is happy that she fell in love with the fool dick in her innocence, and now that she has grown out of that innocence, the fool dick, after all, does not deserve her beauty.
The fool dick remains a dick. And so he is now with his bitch.
The innocent, remains innocent, but hey! This innocent is growing!
So the fool and the bitch, watch out. You made innocent cry once, but one day you will look to her and say, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart." Now, the innocent has forgiven, but the fool has never said sorry. How could he? He's a fool, remember?
So, this is the sad story of the fool.
And the beginning of a happy story in the life of the innocent, who is now growing. :)
And yes, you're right, that innocent is me. And the fool, if you want to know, you can always ask me. This is the story of my innocence. The story of my first heartbreak.
They met at a certain place, and the fool sees the innocent. She gives her nice, sweet smile, and the fool fell in love with her. The fool offered friendship and the innocent accepted. The fool goes on to make innocent happy. The innocent accepts all the fool can give her. The fool becomes too kind to the innocent and then tells her he likes her. The innocent felt flattered, because the fool seemed like a knight-in-shining armor. The fool then meets the innocent's family, and she introduced him as a friend. Later, the fool thought that they were good, then started making up with the innocent. The fool offered love, a different kind of love to the innocent. The innocent, so naive accepted that kind of love. They went on for long..maybe a year or so. The fool and the innocent were happy. The fool does something wrong, the innocent forgives him. The innocent goes to far away, the fool promised he will wait for her.
Then one day, the fool made a foolish decision. The innocent cried and so as the fool. But the innocent has to go farther because she is destined to grow. The innocent goes to many places, and learns so many things. Her eyes were opened wider, but her heart remains loving the fool.
The fool, from time to time, would remind the innocent that he loves her. The innocent, with disbelief, would just keep quiet. The love of the innocent, however, is unconditional. The innocent is willing to love the fool, even though she knows that she is no longer innocent, because she has grown. Although she is aware that the fool and the innocent is impossible, she still hoped that the fool would someday be "the wise". She kept on praying.
The fool one day told the innocent that he misses her. The innocent believed. They agreed to meet. The fool, in his extraordinary foolishness, forgot. The innocent cried.
Then the innocent goes to a far place again..to learn, and to grow even more. Remember, she is no longer as innocent as she used to be! But the fool, remains a fool.
When innocent returned, she found out that the fool has already offered love to a bitch. So the innocent tried to talk to the fool. The fool cannot be reached. The innocent, in bravery, talked to the bitch. And then the fool started to talk to her again. The innocent wanted a face to face closure. The fool is afraid. The innocent, in disbelief, got mad. Later, the innocent found out that the bitch talked bitch about her. And so she realized, that the fool is not just a fool - he is a dick! And the dick, in the absence of the innocent, looked for a bitch who is willing to accept the dick as he is.
The innocent cannot believe it. She keeps on crying. It was hard for her to believe that she actually loved the fool, who loved nothing else but his dick. The innocent had a hard time. But she knows she is moving on. Deep inside her heart, the innocent is happy. She is happy that she fell in love with the fool dick in her innocence, and now that she has grown out of that innocence, the fool dick, after all, does not deserve her beauty.
The fool dick remains a dick. And so he is now with his bitch.
The innocent, remains innocent, but hey! This innocent is growing!
So the fool and the bitch, watch out. You made innocent cry once, but one day you will look to her and say, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart." Now, the innocent has forgiven, but the fool has never said sorry. How could he? He's a fool, remember?
So, this is the sad story of the fool.
And the beginning of a happy story in the life of the innocent, who is now growing. :)
And yes, you're right, that innocent is me. And the fool, if you want to know, you can always ask me. This is the story of my innocence. The story of my first heartbreak.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
THE WORLD IS GETTING SMALLER
I love traveling. Oh, that feeling when you take off for a flight and feel that where you are seated is actually a thousand kilometers up in the air. Such fulfillment when you get to see the beauty of the world around when you travel by bus or car. And so much adventure and fun when you ride on a rooftop of a jeepney or tricycle. And then there's the peace and serenity you would feel when you walk along the beach or hike up a mountain and see that there is so much beauty in God's creation and a lifetime is not enough to get to touch all of them. Indulging your eyes to the beauty of creation is the only thing you could do as you stare in awe and wonder - oh these precious eyes of mine!
Since I was a child, I have been dreaming of traveling around the world - until now, I do. At first, I had the chance to visit places around my own country. There are 7, 100 islands in the Philippines, and traveling across them would take years! So, I got to visit a few of those islands and to my amusement, there is so much more to see outside the perimeters of my province! There's a variety of food, culture, languages, scenery, and each of them is unique. From the Northern Philippines (Kalinga, La Union, Ilocos Sur, Nueva Vizcaya, Nueva Ecija) down to the South (Lanao del Norte, Misamis Oriental, Bukidnon, Cotabato, Sultan Kudarat, Maguindanao, Davao, Sarangani), you will always find something unique in that area. My eyes were opened to see the bigger picture of the nature around me...and then, by seeing so many, I realized I haven't seen much.
The first country I went to outside the Philippines is in South Korea. Their food, language, culture, and scenery are different from ours. The City of Seoul is so much cleaner, more beautiful, and more orderly compared to the busy streets of the Philippine Capital. The Province of Gangwon is so peaceful, clean and safe. My eyes lavished through the greenness of the beauty around me, and I have witnessed how there was synthetic peace across the border of North and South Korea. I went there to learn about Restorative Justice and Peacebuilding Skills, but I went home bringing with me much more lessons and memories.
The second country I visited was Indonesia. I now visited it twice.
The first visit was in Medan, North Sumatra. Their food, language, culture, and scenery had many similarities with the Philippines. Visiting them proved to me that they are our ancestors. We came from the same roots. They are our brothers and sisters. I went there for a gathering of church leaders around the world- for fellowship and sharing of testimonies. I went home inspired and blessed not only from the testimonies I heard, but with what I have witnessed in their daily living - their food, language, culture, scenery, and even faith in God.
The second visit was in the Island of Central Java (Semarang, Salatiga, Solo, Jogjakarta). Like Medan, it was very similar with the Philippines. The unique experience, however, is that I get to visit the world-famous Buddhist Temple - Borobudur! I enjoyed taking pictures while entertaining two big questions in my mind: "How many people made this huge temple?", and "How long did it take to build this?" Each of the walls have sculpted images of human beings, animals, and other creatures. This world heritage site is surely an evidence of our rich heritage from the past. I went to Central Java to meet with Asian Anabaptists and talk about "diakonia" or service. I went home with so much more than learning from the experiences of each of the participants. I went home with more friends, more Indonesian words learned, more food tasted, and more scenery viewed.
As I look back at those experiences, I realized: I haven't seen much. I haven't been to anywhere. I haven't done anything. I have only seen two countries outside the Philippines, and that is not enough. So, maybe this is the magic of traveling. The more you see, the more you feel you haven't seen much, and the more you desire to visit other places. When I was a child, I thought the world was so big. But now, for me the world is getting smaller. So, that small world, I need to see. In that small world, I am just a dot. But it doesn't matter. This dot will travel.
I am now twenty-one years old (turning 22 in two months)! My dream is that before I reach 31, I have gone to all seven continents of the world. I don't know how, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming. God has created me for a purpose. He has called me to do something big. And with that calling, I need to see the world He created, for me to understand what He called me to do.
Awesome! I can't help but just give praises to the One who created me, who created all those things I witnessed, and who will create the way for me to go to a lot more places.
I am just a small dot in this small world. But this dot will travel around that world.
Since I was a child, I have been dreaming of traveling around the world - until now, I do. At first, I had the chance to visit places around my own country. There are 7, 100 islands in the Philippines, and traveling across them would take years! So, I got to visit a few of those islands and to my amusement, there is so much more to see outside the perimeters of my province! There's a variety of food, culture, languages, scenery, and each of them is unique. From the Northern Philippines (Kalinga, La Union, Ilocos Sur, Nueva Vizcaya, Nueva Ecija) down to the South (Lanao del Norte, Misamis Oriental, Bukidnon, Cotabato, Sultan Kudarat, Maguindanao, Davao, Sarangani), you will always find something unique in that area. My eyes were opened to see the bigger picture of the nature around me...and then, by seeing so many, I realized I haven't seen much.
The first country I went to outside the Philippines is in South Korea. Their food, language, culture, and scenery are different from ours. The City of Seoul is so much cleaner, more beautiful, and more orderly compared to the busy streets of the Philippine Capital. The Province of Gangwon is so peaceful, clean and safe. My eyes lavished through the greenness of the beauty around me, and I have witnessed how there was synthetic peace across the border of North and South Korea. I went there to learn about Restorative Justice and Peacebuilding Skills, but I went home bringing with me much more lessons and memories.
The second country I visited was Indonesia. I now visited it twice.
The first visit was in Medan, North Sumatra. Their food, language, culture, and scenery had many similarities with the Philippines. Visiting them proved to me that they are our ancestors. We came from the same roots. They are our brothers and sisters. I went there for a gathering of church leaders around the world- for fellowship and sharing of testimonies. I went home inspired and blessed not only from the testimonies I heard, but with what I have witnessed in their daily living - their food, language, culture, scenery, and even faith in God.
The second visit was in the Island of Central Java (Semarang, Salatiga, Solo, Jogjakarta). Like Medan, it was very similar with the Philippines. The unique experience, however, is that I get to visit the world-famous Buddhist Temple - Borobudur! I enjoyed taking pictures while entertaining two big questions in my mind: "How many people made this huge temple?", and "How long did it take to build this?" Each of the walls have sculpted images of human beings, animals, and other creatures. This world heritage site is surely an evidence of our rich heritage from the past. I went to Central Java to meet with Asian Anabaptists and talk about "diakonia" or service. I went home with so much more than learning from the experiences of each of the participants. I went home with more friends, more Indonesian words learned, more food tasted, and more scenery viewed.
As I look back at those experiences, I realized: I haven't seen much. I haven't been to anywhere. I haven't done anything. I have only seen two countries outside the Philippines, and that is not enough. So, maybe this is the magic of traveling. The more you see, the more you feel you haven't seen much, and the more you desire to visit other places. When I was a child, I thought the world was so big. But now, for me the world is getting smaller. So, that small world, I need to see. In that small world, I am just a dot. But it doesn't matter. This dot will travel.
I am now twenty-one years old (turning 22 in two months)! My dream is that before I reach 31, I have gone to all seven continents of the world. I don't know how, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming. God has created me for a purpose. He has called me to do something big. And with that calling, I need to see the world He created, for me to understand what He called me to do.
Awesome! I can't help but just give praises to the One who created me, who created all those things I witnessed, and who will create the way for me to go to a lot more places.
I am just a small dot in this small world. But this dot will travel around that world.
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| Swimming in the largest volcanic lake in the world - Lake Toba, North Sumatra, Indonesia |
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| Overlooking Mt. Merapi in Central Java, Indonesia |
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| I am bigger than this! -Borobudur Temple, Central Java, Indonesia |
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| Enjoying chicken and makkoli with international friends -Seoul, South Korea |
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| Enjoying the breeze! -Maria Cristina falls, Iligan City Philippines |
Thursday, March 1, 2012
LET IT GO AND LET IT FLOW
For the past two weeks, I was at the Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) Asia Anabaptist Diakonia Conference, held in Central Java, Indonesia. One of the discussions was about Trauma Healing Approaches. I especially liked one method of imagining you were a turtle at the edge of an ocean. You were afraid and had to hold to your friends because you don't want to get drowned. But then you have to convince yourself to let go, and let it flow. That small turtle, after letting go, realized that she can go with the flow of big and small waves, and that letting go feels so good after all.
Now, I am that turtle. I am at a point in my life when I have to let go of so many things. I feel so afraid. I feel so scared. So scared that the world out there is so big for me, and that I can easily be overthrown by big waves on the ocean. I feel so bad letting go of people. People that I learned to love and build good relationships with. I feel bad letting go of things - things that made my life convenient and comfortable in this constantly changing technological world - computer, camera, all my files! I also somehow feel bad letting go of my job. Yeah, I resigned because I know God wants to redirect my focus on my calling. But it's just not easy- letting go of something you have been so accustomed doing, something you loved doing. I feel bad letting go of my emotions - my past hurts, frustrations, regrets, mistakes; they just keep coming back!
So then, I have to allow myself to undergo that process - of letting go and letting it flow... and allow the Spirit of God to comfort me, heal me, and restore my joy and energy.
I am letting go...
I just said goodbye to the gadgets I used to have (well, they are not really mine after all!)...
I am letting go of the job I loved (my first love)... because God has something else for me to do...
I am letting go of the people I learned to love and work with...we will meet again...
I am letting go of my past hurts, frustrations, mistakes, and regrets... I have learned from them!...
And I am finally letting you go... you who taught me how to love, feel loved, and then get hurt. I am letting you go... I am letting go of our memories.. because I am allowing you to grow..and I am allowing myself to even grow more... and not only limited to you...
I am letting go and letting it flow...
At first, it is scary.
But soon, I will be fine... I will be, as a turtle, soon enjoying the big waves of the ocean. I'll find the best place for me to grow.. and then I will grow bigger, wiser, stronger!
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| 3 years ago, I allowed one baby turtle to set free in the ocean. Maybe This turtle is big now. Hopefully - I hope it surpassed all the big waves and predators around him. |
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| I named the baby turtle - PAWI- in this photo, he is about to walk towards the ocean. Right now, I am like him.. Hopefully, like I saw him swim, I will be able to swim as well - and surpass the big waves. |
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