DON'T STEP ON MY WINGS

I have wings so small, I am starting to fly
I try to explore, sometimes I cry
I fall, I ache, sometimes I break
But how can I fly if you step on my wings?

I need to get out, to try and break free
Give me some freedom, some trust I demand
My wings are small, they need to grow
My steps are frail, but yes, sometimes I need to fail

I can hop sometimes and I could flutter
I want to talk too, even if I stutter
But how can I go, oh tell me, how can I grow?
If you step on my wings, you put me oh so low.

I have smaller wings and you want to fly higher
But you cannot go higher if you step on my wings
I couldn't be able to fly,
How can I lift you up high?

Oh, let me be, let me free
Let me soar high and spree
Let me explore where my wings can take me
And maybe, one day, we can fly together - beautifully

Oh please be fair to a small eagle like me
Whose wings are small, frail, and still learning to fly
Don't step on my wings,
It stops my heart beat.

You soar on your own wings
So high and unreachable, I can only look up to you
And that will let my wings grow too
So that someday I can grow as big as you

But you cannot soar so high and mighty
You cannot go further than where I could be
If you won't let me go, together we'll stay here
So please, don't step on my wings and let us both be happy.

THE GOSPEL IN THE FAMILY

Growing up in a Christian family, it was easy for me to imagine the love of God the Father, because I felt that love manifested through my own father. It was easy for me to love the church community because my whole family is serving the Lord together, and I see the church community as my own family. When I accepted Jesus as my "personal" Lord and Savior, I knew it was a decision I made for my own  soul, for my own salvation. The essence of following Jesus, however, is strengthened because of my connection with my family and the church community.

A lot of times, I hear people evangelize saying they should disregard their seat mates, ignore friends, family, or whoever gets in the way, as long as they express their faith in God. Most Christians would preach the value of personal salvation without considering the essence of family and community, which is the very nature of the Triune God.

In most cultures, especially in the Philippines, family and kinship are primary values. It is expressed in our political structures, business, and other primary institutions. Political leaders rule not only as individuals, but as families. The larger the clan, the larger their political influence and allies. Top business industries are ruled not only by individuals, but by clans. Churches, especially mega churches, also follow the same pattern. Pastors who lead the church would have their children lead the different ministries inside the church. This pattern has both positive and negative implications, but what I want to focus on is how we preach the gospel to individuals, as if their salvation is important only to them as individuals, disregarding the importance of family.

I know a lot of people who come from non-Christian families and are converted into Christianity. They are people who experience a lot of struggles within their family once they became Christians. As new Christians, they are challenged to share the Good News to their family, but often times it becomes the reason for family conflict and misunderstanding. Matthew 10:21 is being used in the wrong context, encouraging them that it is alright to be in conflict with their own family as long as they keep their faith in God.

Upon reflecting on certain situations that I come closely exposed with, I must say that the church as a community has a mission not only to bring individuals to Christ, but also their families. It should not be up to those individuals to bring their own families to Christ. The church must be able to step up and walk with new Christians as they reach out to each of their family members. The Good News can be holistically experienced if you experience it with your family. The family is the immediate manifestation of the love of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

In this culture where family, kinship, and ties, are strong foundations for political, economic, and socio-cultural survival, there is no reason to leave the family behind when it comes to spiritual transformation and growth. A strong personal relationship with Christ can be fully enjoyed with family and community.

MAKING A LIST AND CHECKING IT TWICE (THE IDEAL MAN LIST)

This is not about a Christmas wish list or a shopping list. This is about an ideal man list and I was inspired to write this post when my friend wrote about why she threw her "ideal man" list. She is a very talented and passionate woman, and the reason why she is single, is because that one man who deserves her hasn't come along yet.

I am writing this in response to her story of throwing away the ideal man list and focusing on having a heart that can discern the character of a man, because the character of a man is the only thing that is non-negotiable. I completely agree with that. We do not need a list. We will not marry a list. We will marry a man. We will not fall in love with the ideal. Loving means loving the imperfect, the most annoying, and the disappointing side of the man we choose to be with.

I don't know where that "ideal man" list came from, but maybe I also had those lists before. I did not literally have a notebook of lists or some sort, but I had some "standards" in mind about what kind of guy I would like.The first time I felt like a guy met all the ideals I had in mind, I entered a relationship and broke my heart. After that first heart break, I revisited that list and improved it, thinking that the next man should be the one, because I had an improved version of that list. I met another man and broke my heart the second time. And so this journey to finding the "ideal man" was painful, but then I learned my lessons. Since then, I knew I had to be patient and figure out what kind of man I would really like to spend the rest of my life with.

I believe that there is no such thing as an ideal man. So I just imagined what characteristics and qualities of a man that I think would best fit my character, and then I prayed. I prayed for a man whose heart seeks God and who will also seek my heart from God. I prayed for a man who has a clear vision in life, in which I will see myself being a part of. I prayed for a man who will see himself in my own vision, and will complement me in all my strengths and weaknesses. I prayed for a man whose leadership I can follow, and whose character I can admire. I prayed for a man that I will love as a person, and as a man, not because he loves me but because I'm just drawn to him naturally. I prayed for a man who will love me with all my imperfections and whose imperfections I can embrace. And I always prayed to God to surprise me...

...and He did! I met a man who I never thought existed. I met a man who I loved in my prayers and existed only in my imagination. It does not need to take so much time to figure out if he is the one, because I know while I was praying for almost two years, he was also in the process of being prepared to meet me. We are still in a journey of knowing each other deeper and envisioning a future together. There are a lot of things we are learning that I can share with you in the future. But what I want to point out is that every woman deserves a man who is no less than what she deserves. 

Women, we do not need a knight in shining armor who will save us from our wretched circumstances. We do not need a prince charming who will give us a feeling of security. We do not need the attention of a handsome guy to make us feel beautiful. It is not what a lifetime partner is for. We have our own strength, our own confidence, and beauty. What we need is a man who will appreciate our inner capacity and inspire us to become better in anything we do, because he believes that you are powerful enough and you can do it without him, but he will still be there to support you and be a shoulder you can cry on at times that you feel weak.

Love is not a fairy tale with happy ever afters of smiling and dancing and having fun. Love is discovering the inner capacity of each other and choosing to embrace each other during difficult times because you hold your commitment sacred. What we need is a man seeking God's heart, not a man fulfilling our list. 

So if you have a list of your ideal man, maybe check it again and figure out what you think you really deserve as a woman. If you are sure of what kind of man you are waiting for, check again if you are the kind of woman he deserves. God is the best author of love stories more than any writer or novelist who ever existed. And no love story is ever perfectly the same. As unique as each of us is, our love stories are also uniquely orchestrated and we only need to prepare as we wait for the spotlight to come our way.

WHY CELEBRATE TODAY?

Twenty four years ago today, I was born into this world.

I may not have a very special party or extremely happy day. In fact, today I am clouded with mixed emotions, disorientation, and confusion. I believe I should be having a quarter-life crisis next year, but mine probably came a year early, I'm not sure.

24 years of my existence has been very rich and meaningful. I thought of writing about 24 reasons to celebrate, but as I count the reasons why I should celebrate today, I realized that there is just so much to write that they would not fit in one blog entry. I celebrate my family, my church community, my friends, my career, my ministry, my special man, my dreams, my struggles, my failures, mixed emotions and confusion. I celebrate my life as it is, and all the realities I have come to discover and experience in this 24 years of existence. 

Today, as people send their greetings and love, I want to give the praise to only one name, the Lord of my life, Jesus. As I experience this phase of struggle and confusion, I rest in the fact that Jesus is Lord and that His blood has saved me, and that his resurrection is the reason I am alive and experiencing life on earth to its fullest. 

I would probably live for a few more decades, or maybe less, who knows? But one thing I would constantly celebrate is that my Lord is alive and that He walks with me through my journey. In triumph and victory, He celebrates with me. In darkness, He holds my hand until I see the light. In sorrow He comforts me until I find my peace. In confusion and despair, He's the only one who understands. From the day I was born until my last breath, Jesus is alive and I constantly feel His love. That reason alone is more than enough, and could surpass any list, I could possibly make up.

This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

ONE DARING MOVE

Two years ago, I dreamed of writing a book - and this dream remained a dream until about a month ago. It took inspiration, perfect timing, and a lot of determination. This time, I'm determined to make it happen!

I dare to write a book, and I dare to dream big. I dream of writing a book that will inform, inspire, teach, and simply tell a story of one life that was influenced by a long tradition, and share stories of many more lives who chose to follow this same tradition. 

I am writing a book.

The other night I cried about not being able to add anything else on the 45-page manuscript I've written the past three weeks. I cried and cried because there were many thoughts, many ideas playing in my mind, teasing my brain to add more to the story I am writing, yet these ideas I cannot capture and put into writing, and came out only through tears.

Writing is a mystery.

Writing is a search to the inner core of your being, a journey to one's self to defining the source of your strength, the reservoir of ideas, the fountain of creativity.

I am on that journey.

I am on a journey to writing a book about my journey and the journey of many others.

In trying to write about my journey, I find myself journeying into a different realm - into the realm of writing. The mysterious, magical, and surprising journey of writing.

I do not know what lies ahead, but I know that in this writing journey, I am learning and I am enjoying.

For the love of writing, I will continue this journey.

Because of love, I will be able to continue.

WHAT LOVE HAS TO SAY

For many years, I've said some words about love, and what I have to say.

Today, I relax and smile as I savor the sweet message of what love has to say.

I was caught off guard. This heart I have tried to protect and preserve, suddenly found love and all it does is listen now - to what love has to say.

There were no conditions, nor any reasons why.

There was no "if only" and "what if"

As I used to always feel

There was only that confidence, that as I gaze into your eyes,

All I wanted was to listen - to what love has to say

There were no fears or any doubt in everything you do or say,

Because as I listen to your voice, all I hear is - what love has to say

I only know I want to be better - better than I've always been

And I will always just be here, in your journey to become better too.

Well, I guess that's what  it is - what love has to say

When all I want is to have you near, and a look in your eyes makes me feel like I'm looking through your soul.

Today we may be far apart, but I hear the message loud and clear - what love has to say.

To be so confident in the love we feel, and be so inspired for the journey ahead of us

I guess this is what I first hear, of what love has to say

And through the years, every single day

I will look in your eyes and just listen - to what love has to say

I'm pretty sure there will be more

Messages that are loud and clear - of what love has to say.

For the love I found in the most unexpected place, at an unexpected time.
What love has to say?
It can be surprising :)

ANABAPTISM IN THE PHILIPPINES

Around the same time that the Anabaptist movement was beginning in Europe, the Philippine islands once had a civilization of its own. It was later discovered by Spain, which explored the earth to expand its territory. Since then, Christianity came to the Philippines, with the cross being used as a symbol of power and authority. Protestantism later came to the Philippines when America acquired the country from Spain in the 1898 Treaty of Paris. The Philippine history has then been about foreign conquests, battles fought and won, and an ongoing struggle for independence and self identity.

Anabaptism, which originated in Europe, only came to the Philippine shores in recent years. After the World War II, the Mennonite Central Committee (MCC) sent volunteers to assist war victims in the northern islands of the country. It was the first recorded entrance of Anabaptists in the Philippines. A hospital was founded by MCC in 1948, and is still existing up to this day, owned by Protestant doctors.

In the 1950s, several Filipino pastors were convicted to serve people not only spiritually, but also to provide for their physical needs. They used their own resources to provide livelihood assistance to the communities they serve. This was then organized as Missions Now, Inc. In the 1970s, one of the Filipino pastors went to the United States to share the ministry that he was doing in the Philippines. He met some Mennonites and was attracted to their conviction of peace and holistic ministry. Later, the Eastern Mennonite Missions (EMM) formerly the Eastern Mennonite Board of Missions and Charities (EMBC) sent missionaries to the Philippines to plant churches and provide educational and livelihood assistance, especially to the poorest among Filipino society.

In the 1990s, the church suffered some conflict and division after the death of the pastor who started Missions Now, Inc. His son continued the leadership of the organization, but did not embrace the Mennonite doctrine. Thus, the Integrated Mennonite Church (IMC) was born in 1991 out of the rest of the members who still embraced the Anabaptist Mennonite conviction.

Today, the Integrated Mennonite Church of the Philippines still strive to be faithful in its calling. There are 21 small congregations affiliated to the IMC, majority located in the Northern Provinces of Luzon, in the far-flung areas of the mountains. There are also existing Church of God in Christ Churches around the country, and also conservative plain fellowships of Mennonites but there is no existing communication lines between the IMC and the other Anabaptist-embracing churches present in the country.

LESSONS IN LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS (2013 overview)

God brings people along our way to teach us life lessons we need to learn, and to prepare us for the next stages of our journey. At age 23, the year 2013 has taught me so much about love, life, relationship, humility, courage, and joy. It has not been an easy year, yet it was full of essential lessons I need to learn before I face another chapter of my life.

Years of spending time with people from different walks of life, different ages, cultures, and worldview, has made me share love with people easily. I remember that I used to easily get attached to people I work with, that it becomes hard for me to say goodbye once I have to leave and move on to my next destination. Through time, I have learned how to completely share love with people, without being too emotionally attached to the point of crying every time I had to say goodbye. This year, I have learned to express love and care without the emotional attachment and painful goodbyes. I learned it the hard way.

Building relationships with people also taught me very important lessons on love and relationship. It is easy to build relationships with people who have similar mind set as ours, but it is challenging and very difficult to build relationships, much more maintain one, with people who have totally different perspectives! Genuine love is tested when you have relationships with people who may at times have conflicting ideas and personalities, and that is the beauty of love that God has taught me this year.

Genuine relationships are built on genuine love. Genuine love brings genuine relationships. These two are inseparable. If a relationship is built on other motives outside of genuine love for the person, it usually does not work, or may not last very long. Genuine love is manifested in genuine care, protection, respect, understanding, humility, honesty, and transparency with one another. The mutuality of these manifestations create a beautiful illustration of genuine love and relationship. There are times, however, that genuine love and its manifestations are not mutually shared. That is the lesson God allowed me to learn from the previous year.

In the past, I have been loved by someone whose love I cannot reciprocate. This love did not last, leading the other person to look for a love that will reciprocate his. This experience hurt my pride more than anything else. This experience, I thought, would be the greatest lesson in love that I will learn, and yet there are still so many things I have not known until 2013. One day I woke up to a painful realization that there are people I've learned to love but does not share that same love with me. It is a challenge God has led my way to understand the essence of love.

Loving someone who shares the same love with you is a perfect illustration of love. God  has created humanity to share His love with us, in the first place.  It hurts, however, if we love someone who totally doesn't care and rejects the love we offer. I can't imagine how much hurt God could be when His own creation chooses to set apart from Him. It is the lesson I am learning. The art of love, risking love, and getting hurt when this love is not reciprocated.

Love is the foundation of genuine relationships. You should never expect to be loved mutually, but the beauty of it is that "you can never go wrong with love." Love, when shared mutually, is a very beautiful thing. But loving freely and unconditionally - even people who are hard to love, is the greatest gift we could offer to humanity, and an even greater gift we allow ourselves to receive.

Give love, share love, receive love. :)

Happy and Lovely 2014!