Ten days before my 22nd, I am going to tell you ten most unforgettable challenges and important decisions I had to make in my whole life. In random order:
1 Childhood
My childhood is, I would say, a very different yet colorful one. I grew up in a Conservative Mennonite setting. What I mean is, literally, I always wore dresses, grew my hair long (knee-length), my brothers wore pants all the time even when playing, and my mother and eldest sister wore veil when they got baptized. I grew up playing with American Missionary kids, and my first teachers were American missionaries. That explains why I gained fluency in speaking and writing in the English language. We weren't allowed to watch the television (we actually didn't have a TV set), my parents always played Christian children's songs through a cassette player, and we only sang hymnals at church. In school, it was only me and my three older siblings, plus two other missionary kids. We were in different levels, and the teacher gives full attention to whatever our lesson was. My favorite subject was "Phonics". It sounds like a lot of fun for me now, but I'm telling you: When I was a child, I always thought we were different from my community. I always knew that. And it feels awkward!
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| This is a classic favorite of mine. L-R: My dad, me, my childhood friend, and her dad :) Look at the colors! :) |
2 Adjustments
At age seven (7), a big change happened. The conservatives do not allow college education for their children, but my dad does not agree with it. So, when my eldest sister was about to finish her high school studies, we got separated from the Conservative Mennonites. We were suddenly transfered to a public school near our house. From a room of six students, I suddenly had 72 classmates in that public school. I learned to read when I was five, and got shocked that at second grade, some of my classmates still do not know how to read! I used to have my own set of books and workbooks for all my subjects, but in public school three students share one book. I cried and cried after my first week which made my mom talk to my teacher, and my teacher suddenly gave me my own books.haha (that was a bit funny there!)
Getting used to wearing long dresses, I still remember the first time I had to wear shorts for a school dance number. It felt really weird! I felt like everybody was looking at me, and staring at my legs!haha... Getting used to wearing my hair long and braiding it, I cried when I had my first hair cut at age nine (9)! It was in high school when I started wearing pants. It felt different, but at the same time, it was liberating. I was an introvert then, and yes, it was really awkward and the change made me a lot more "un-confident" about myself. It was a big adjustment for me.
3 High School
People say that high school days are the best days of one person's life, but I'd say: mine was the most challenging one. I was crazy! I was an introvert, but I had to fight it, because I was the consistent top one student in class! I used to be very shy and quiet, but then I had to learn how to speak up during classes. I used to be very friendly, but I still felt like I was different from the rest of my classmates, so I became a loner.
On my second year, it was when I bumped into my group of friends who immediately became my peer group in my entire high school life. Slowly, I learned how to speak. Slowly, I felt the sense of belongingness. Slowly, I became like them! We named our group NICHAFERS w/ JAR which is an acronym of our names: Nina, Icar, Cleobert, kacHelle, chAriz, Faye, Egene, Ralph, PrinceSs, Jonijane, Ariane, Regina. Until now, they remain a significant part of my life, although we seldom see each other anymore.
For three consecutive years, I became the top student in class. In fourth year, I was elected as the Student Body President, appointed as the Editor-in-Chief for our school paper, and chosen as the Corps Commander for our Citizen Advancement Training. I became very busy with all these responsibilities, plus being the school representative for competitions held outside the school. But I'm telling you, I was never a teacher's pet. NEVER! I was always the one fighting against the teachers if I don't feel like obeying them. I was always the one who says no to what they command us, if I feel like they are being abusive. And so to make the story short, my high school life ended with me being on second place. Next to my friend who used to be the second.
And that was my first disappointment.
4 College
Among six test-takers from my high school, I was the only one who passed the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT). It was never even in my dreams! For me, it was unreachable, and I never thought God would be so gracious to allow me to pass the entrance exam in the most prestigious university in the country.
Before the exam, we were asked to choose two courses we would like to take. I marked two courses that I had no idea was about, and then I passed in the course: Development Communication (DevCom). Passing that course itself was already a challenge. I was challenged to discover what it was about, and I was challenged to love what it was; because it will be my lifetime profession.
What I will never forget is that during our college orientation, we were told that being a DevCom practitioner will bring us to places, and it will also allow us to rub elbows with the elite, and with the people from the grassroots level. True enough, my two years of experience after graduating can prove that!
5 Church Leadership
I was born to lead. I did not force myself to be, nor did anyone force me. It's just that all the energies in the world push me to becoming a leader. So I accept that fate :)
I grew up at church, and because I did not have a very good childhood, I also grew slowly in terms of spiritual growth. It's like I had a trauma :)
Anyway, one of the biggest challenges of my life was when it came to a point at our church when no one was left to lead the youth group. Every person older than me would either be married, or working far away. I was left as the oldest, and then the three other young people who were two years younger than me. And because I had an experience being a leader in school, I immediately adjusted to becoming a youth leader. Tell you, it wasn't all that easy. My leadership and perspectives in life was shaped by that one moment when no one else was left, and I had to lead. I had to lead and no one trained me. I had to lead while no one was mentoring me. It was supreme challenge!
6 Operation
At age 17, my second year in college, a significant event happened that forever marked a change in me. I had an ovarian cyst removed through a surgery, and together with that, my left ovary and fallopian tube were removed. I have a six inch long keloidal scar on my tummy, which reminds me all the time that my body parts are no longer complete. And which reminds me all the time of a certain chapter in my life that made me cry most. :( The rest of the story is a long one, and I choose to not include it here.
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| This was the cyst removed from me. It measured 20x27x20 cm. The dark line in the middle was my fallopian tube |
7 First Job
Before even graduating, I have always prayed that I'll get a job where I could use my profession, but at the same time I am serving as a missionary. God gave me just that! He answered my prayers! Furthermore, He gave the desires of my heart. He allowed me to travel, do a lot of photography and writing, and eat a lot of food. My first job was awesome! Oh yeah! But in this job, I have also learned a lot of lessons in life...lessons that became my foundation in preparing for a bigger future ahead of me. It sounds like fun, but it was challenging. I had to think, act, and talk like a 30-year old even when I was just 20. I had to decide, plan, and lead like I was an expert, even though I was just a beginner. Tough, eh? But I thank God for all the people He used to train and mentor me.
8 Death
Since I was a child, death has been distant to my family. I never knew how it felt to lose someone you love..someone so close to your heart, until...
10 June 2010. My paternal grandmother passed away due to diabetes and other complications in the internal organ. I was shocked! I was saddened! And yet, surprisingly, death found its way to comfort me, knowing that she is resting with the Savior already. It was hard to let go at first..I cried every time I remembered how sweet and caring grandmother she was. I even wrote a tribute for her...
Tribute to my grandmother Juana
02 August 2011. My maternal grandmother died a sudden death. It was tragic, but it was sweet. I wrote the detailed description of her death here: Tribute to my grandmother Salome
It was easier to let go, because it was the second death I knew of.
05 February 2012. My cousin died of stage 4 Bone Cancer. We found out his illness only four months before he passed away. It was sudden, but subtle death. It was saddening. And yet, it was full of hope for the little angel he left for us to remember - his precious daughter.
9 Heart Break
Yes. Heart break. Everyone has a story of that. Mine was recent. I mean, the serious heart break. And I actually wrote about it: The fool and the innocent
But now, I have to say I have moved on! Of course, who will not?! :)
10 Sanctification
I am still on a journey. I am undergoing a process. The process of sanctification. This challenge is just beginning. I have nothing to write about it yet. But of course, this journey is a challenging one! And I invite you to join me in this radical journey!
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